If you have read the first blog in this series you can skip the introductory and concluding paragraphs (in italics).
If you have ever interacted with children of varying ages you would have quickly noticed that they have very different capabilities. This is because children are continually growing and developing in every area and at every stage of their life. It is valuable to understand each stage of development in order to help children learn and grow. But as Christians we also want them to ultimately come to a saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is the last blog post in a series where we have been looking at the characteristics of the different age groups, what their needs are and what they are capable of understanding about God. Having this knowledge will help us, as parents and teachers, to teach our children about God more effectively in an age appropriate way. In this week’s blog we will be specifically looking at ages eleven to fourteen.
As a side note: We need to keep in mind that these different stages of development are not rules rather they are guidelines. Each child will develop at their own pace, some faster than others. Furthermore, as we look at these general principles it does not mean that every child is the same, they are still individuals with their own personalities, abilities, likes and dislikes. So you need to take the time to get to know each child as an individual in your class.
Their characteristics
- Physical development
Children of this age are going through one of the most significant physical changes in their lives – Puberty. With the onset of puberty comes a flood of hormones into the body. These new hormones will affect them physically, as well as emotionally (which we will deal with later), causing dramatic growth and physical changes.
By this stage of their development most children have mastered the basic physical skills. Sudden growth spurts, however, may cause them to be uncoordinated and clumsy. This is because their bones are growing faster than their muscles and their hands and feet are fully developed before their arms and legs. Furthermore, their arms and legs are growing faster than their trunk which is often the cause of growing pains.
The rate of growth and changes in preteens will vary. This variation is seen between individuals and between the genders. Girls will mostly grow more quickly and will often be taller than boys. Just as in younger children, this rapid growth causes fatigue. Their bodies are working overtime to grow and change thus they have less energy and will need more sleep.
- Mental or cognitive development
While the brain is almost fully developed at this point in life, practical experience is lacking. They are, therefore, unable to solve “adult” problems in a mature way. They simply lack the experience. This is one of the reasons that children of this age still need adult guidance and should not be given more responsibility than they are ready for.
Having said that, they have still made impressive advances in terms of problem-solving. They are capable of making judgements and are able to reason much more than before. As it happens, they are developing the ability to use hypothetical reasoning. Making ethical decisions, however, will become a challenge.
With every year, their attention span continues to increase. Although they can still be easily distracted because of their curiosity. They are mostly interested in the here and now – in what they can see, hear, touch, taste or smell. Deadlines also have little meaning to them.
These children enjoy expressing their ideas and feelings in creative ways, including writing, drama and painting.
- Emotional development
As I mentioned earlier, children of this age are going through one of the most significant changes in their lives – Puberty. With the onset of puberty comes a flood of hormones into the body. These new hormones will affect them emotionally. Their emotions will become unsteady and they will begin to experience mood swings. These mood swings will influence every area of their lives. Unfortunately, they often express their feelings inappropriately.
One of the most common emotions that will emerge is anger. This anger is caused by fatigue, feelings of inadequacy, rejection or uncertainty. Another common emotion is fear. Their fear expresses itself in the form of anxieties. The fear of rejection and not being accepted is one of the biggest worries in their life. They are continually evaluating whether they fit in. Furthermore, with the increasing demands that have been placed upon them, they are also anxious about being able to perform.
Although at times it appears that they will never stop talking, children at this age will start to develop private areas of their lives as well. These private areas include their fears and questions about life. They will not want to share these with anyone else.
- Social development
This is the age of buddies and best friends. At this stage of development, children begin to break away from their families in a desire for independence. They will immediately draw close to their peer group. These peer friendships are incredibly important. In the early years, they often don’t want to be friends with those of the opposite gender. They desire to be a part of the same-gender group. It is not only normal for them to feel close to a peer of the same-gender, but it is also necessary for building a foundation for positive relationships with members of the opposite gender later on in life.
Although these peer relationships are important, they can also be negative. They are greatly influenced by their peers and what the group thinks is very important to them. Failure to be accepted by the group can result in depressive behaviour. Their fears of non-acceptance can lead them to want to look, act and talk like others in the group.
Unfortunately, this is also the age of being critical, critical of themselves and of others. They are critical of their intellect and their athletic abilities. They often wonder if they are good at anything. Furthermore, they are critical of their physical appearance. They are very aware of their bodies and the changes that have begun to occur. This is an area in which they feel they must do anything in order to fit in and be accepted.
- Spiritual development
At this stage of development, most often a noticeable shift happens in Spiritual development. This shift occurs as they begin to move from a “parent-given” faith to a more personal faith. Children who have attended church for years will start to question their beliefs. They will start to rethink their decisions and renown them for themselves.
Just like with 9 & 10 year olds, children at this age have a sense of morality and justice. They are extremely aware of fairness. When adults are inconsistent they are quick to point out, “That’s not fair”. They will continually be evaluating the values of their parents and teachers. They are very quick to condemn others’ behaviour. When it comes to their own behaviour, however, they find ways to rationalise.
What do they need?
We need to remember that these children have little control over their emotions at this stage. We, therefore, need to have patience and understanding when working with children of this age. It is our job to help them learn how to respond or act appropriately regardless of how they feel.
As I mentioned earlier, children this age have a great fear of rejection and not being accepted. They are also experiencing so many changes, physically and emotionally. This is the reason why they need lots of encouragement, support and love. They need to be reassured that at least one significant adult in their lives loves and accepts them. Furthermore, be sure to always point them to Jesus’ acceptance and unconditional love.
These children are extremely private, as previously mentioned. Do what you can to keep communication open. Allow many opportunities for conversation, questions and discussion in a safe, accepting environment. Take care, however, to show respect for their privacy and never pressure them to share intimate details. On the rare occasion when they do divulge personal information, make the time to listen to them. Also avoid making any judgemental comments.
Because of their love of humour, it should be included in every part of your ministry. It must, however, never be used as a weapon. No child should ever be the subject of a joke. You may get a good laugh, but you will lose the child.
In their later years, they will begin to develop friendships with members of the opposite gender. It is, therefore, important to integrate some of your small-group activities so that you can help them learn how to relate appropriately to the opposite gender.
Provide opportunities for them to gain a sense of independence. But be careful not to give too much freedom. This could result in chaos and insecurity which may in turn lead to discouragement and depression.
Because of their interest in the present you should seek to make your lesson very interactive and practical. Focus on what they can experience and put into practice immediately. Furthermore, look for ways to include creative activities like writing, drama and painting.
What can we teach them?
If the children in your class have come up from a younger class, they would have already learnt a lot of foundational truths. You will be continuing to build on those truths. You must be aware, however, that some children may be joining your program for the first time. So you will need to teach them those truths from scratch.
Along with everything they could already learn at ages 2-10, here is a list of what they can now learn and understand:
- Can have a more personal faith instead of “parent-faith”
- Able to apply the gospel to themselves and their friends.
- Pray for each other.
- Children can have deep feelings of love for good
- Can share the good news of Jesus with others
- Capable of involvement in community service.
- Seek guidance from God to make everyday and long-term decisions.
The next time you are teaching your class, you need to choose material that will help them to learn these truths.
It is valuable for us to understand each stage of development in order to help children learn and grow. But we also want them to come to a saving knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. In this week’s blog we had a look at the characteristics of eleven to fourteen year olds, what their needs are and what they are capable of understanding about God. Having this knowledge will help us, as parents and teachers, to teach our children about God more effectively in an age appropriate way.
Thanks for reading my post. I hope you found it helpful. Please send me any feedback, comments or questions that you may have. I would also like to hear if there are any topics that you would like me to deal with in the future. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Bye for now.
“The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.” (Philemon 1:25)
References:
- 2006, Gospel Light, Teacher Training Smart Pages
