Not According to plan

If you met me for the first time, I’m sure it wouldn’t take you long to pick up on the fact that I am a bit of a perfectionist, possibly even having OCD tendencies. I am what you would call an A-type personality however, not many people know exactly what that actually means. I even had to look it up to make sure that I understood what it meant. This is what I discovered. A person with an A-Type personality is described as being ambitious, organized, proactive, motivated, reliable and time efficient. Sounds good, right? Now if you stopped there I imagine that most people would say, “Sign me up.” However, that’s not the end of it. There are a few negatives as well. A-type personalities also tend to be impatient, competitive, work-obsessed, aggressive, achievement-orientated and stressed. Now unfortunately, that describes me almost to a T. The good, the bad and the ugly, so to speak.

So why am I going on and on about the characteristics of an A-type personality? Well, let me explain. Being an A-type personality also makes me a planner. I plan just about everything. I plan my meals each week. I plan what I’m going to buy at the shops. I plan our holiday activities. I plan my daily schedule. I plan my weekly activities. I plan our social events. I even have a calendar on our fridge that outlines all of our future plans.

So when things don’t go according to “the plan” I am rather, shall we say, unsettled. Now as a Christian I know in my head and believe in my heart that I am not in control. I know that God is the one who is in control and He has a wonderful plan for my life. And you know how I know this? It’s simply because God’s Word tells me so and because I have experienced this in my own life.

BUT…. I still have an inward struggle because I want to know what God’s plan is or rather I want to tell God what His plan should be for my life – Step. By. Step.

I still have an inward struggle because I want to know what God’s plan is or rather I want to tell God what His plan should be for my life – Step. By. Step.

Let me give you a real life example of this and the motivation behind this post. I had planned to start writing this blog over 6 months ago. But as you can see that didn’t happen.

It all started a few years ago when my husband, Kyle and I were having a conversation. It is one that we have had a few times over the last almost 7 years, since we made the decision that I would be a stay-at-home mom when I fell pregnant with our first child. We were discussing what I could do to generate an income towards our household.

One idea I got from a friend of ours, who suggested that I write my own Udemy course. But what would I do a course on? I don’t know much about anything. Ah, but that’s not true, is it? I am a qualified Children’s Worker. I have my Bachelor of Theology degree from George Whitefield College, specialising in Children’s ministry. So then it got me thinking…maybe I could write a course on how to teach the Bible to Children. That way I could use the gifts that God has given me and hopefully the gospel will also be spread. So after a lot of discussion and prayer I thought why not give it a go.This made me excited to say the least. So I got to work, being very careful with what I said and how I said it, as not to lead people astray.

It has been 3 years since I published my first course and I have since written a second one. I have 53 students, at the time of writing this blog, who have benefitted from my courses. Although this is great I had hoped to see these courses grow into a real tool for the gospel and to generate a reasonable income. So then I thought maybe Christians just aren’t looking on Udemy to find a course on how to teach Children the Bible. So how do I get Christians to find my course? Then I had the idea of setting up a website. It just so happens that I am blessed to have a husband who is multi-talented and he was able to do just that. So I have had my website up and running for about 7 months. In order to draw people to my website I decided to start my own blog.

Then I started to get very excited about the idea. I started writing out different topics for various blog posts. And I realised that my blog could be more than just a tool to draw people to the website and promote my courses. But I could use this blog as a way to teach others how to teach the Bible to children. And then I started having ideas of also adding a section onto my website for other resources, like teaching material.

At about the same time one of the Pastors from our church asked me if I wouldn’t mind stepping up and helping more with the Children’s Ministry. I still remember the day like it was yesterday. I was sitting at a friend’s house excitedly telling her about my blog post idea, when I got a call from my Pastor wanting to talk about my involvement in Children’s Ministry. I kind of got thrown back a little. Didn’t God want me to do the blog posts and teaching material? Was I now meant to forget this whole idea and go all in with the Children’s Ministry at my local church? Or was there time for both?

So after talking it over with Kyle and a few of my good, godly friends and a lot of prayer, we decided that I would do both. So I got started with the Children’s Ministry at my church first with the thought that once that was up and running then I would have more time to start focusing on my website/blog.

I had only been doing the Children’s Ministry for about one month before our lives got turned… no, thrown upside down.

It was a Tuesday night, like any other, we were getting ready to go to Bible study. We had bathed our daughters and had just finished eating supper. We all got into the car and set off. Kyle was driving, as he usually does when we all drive together. The girls were talking about some game they were playing and I was about to start messaging our Bible study to let them know that we were on our way. When all of a sudden a truck stopped in front of us and we had to apply our brakes. We managed to stop just in time. I checked the side mirror as I pushed the hazard button to warn the cars behind us. And said to Kyle with a sign of relief “That was close”. I don’t remember what happened next, but I woke up with my head against the dashboard. A car in the right hand lane had not realised that we had all stopped and thought there was a gap in between us and the car behind us. Unfortunately, there wasn’t. And he slammed straight into the back of us and pushed our car into the truck in front of us. We were like a sandwich.

We were only 6 minutes from our home when our lives were changed forever. Thankfully God spared us all. Kyle only sustained minor injuries and our youngest daughter walked away without a scratch. My eldest daughter and I had to be admitted into hospital for 4 days after both sustaining head injuries. After being discharged from hospital we subsequently discovered that I actually had a fractured shoulder in my right arm as well. But all things considered we were very “lucky”. It could have been far worse.

So after more doctors appointments, 6 weeks in a sling, 5 months of physio, some trauma counseling and many other administrative complications, I have finally been able to get back into writing my blog.

I’m sure you have all been in a situation in your life where something didn’t happen the way you planned it? In fact, you think “God why is this happening to me?” But then I’m guessing that you have also had those moments when you look back at that situation and you can see in hindsight what God was doing.

This reminds me of that verse in Romans 8:28 that says: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” People often think that this verse means that only good things will happen to those who believe. But if you read it correctly, you will see that it says “In all things”. It is saying in everything…in the good things and in the bad things, God will work for good.

Our car accident was no doubt a bad “thing” that happened to us, but I can, without a doubt, say that God has used this terrible accident to work for the good of our whole family. That doesn’t mean it was easy and it doesn’t mean that I still don’t get emotional when I think about how much worse it could have been. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t still long term effects after the accident and that I don’t think about what happened every single day. But what it does mean is that there are so many positives that came out of the accident and things that we learnt about ourselves, each other and God. God used this terrible, horrible, scary accident for our ultimate good.

So things may not go according to our plan, but God has a plan and His plan is perfect. His plan is to work in all things, the good and the bad, for our good. So how does this change the way we plan our lives? It doesn’t. Well, not entirely. You see we should make plans for the future, but we need to keep in mind that God may have a different plan. Does that mean that something bad will always happen? Of course not. But in everything you need to remember that God will use whatever it is for your ultimate good. And when things are tough and you can’t see how God could use this for good, cling to His promises. Because that is sometimes all we can do. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Thanks for reading my post. I hope you found it helpful. Please send me any feedback, comments or questions that you may have. I would also like to hear if there are any topics that you would like me to deal with in the future. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Bye for now.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38-39)